Internet Site Links:

• The Scripture Tree (When page opens, Click on the flowers)

• House For Sale

• Simple Joy

• Interview With God

• God's Yellow Pages- - Let your fingers do the walking thru the Bible

NIFTY CHRISTIAN PHRASES

• Man’s way leads to hopeless end...God’s way leads to an endless hope.

• Give God what’s right...not what’s left.

• A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

• He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

• In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.

• Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.

• Are you wrinkled with burden?  Come to the church for a face-left.

• When praying, don’t give God instructions..

• Just report for duty.

• Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

• We don’t change God’s message… His message changes us.

• The church is prayer-conditioned.

• When God ordains, He sustains.

• WARNING:  Exposure to the Sun may prevent burning.

Sometimes We Wonder...
Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

  Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake"
  "Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.

  "How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"
  "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

  To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way , they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

  God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
 
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
 
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. 
  
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future.
If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain.
Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

Church Smiles

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign ... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. 
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. 
Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. 
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

The Twenty and the One
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.  The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.  "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.  Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"  "So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"  The one dollar bill replies, "Oh! , I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church..." The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
 
Goat for Dinner
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son, "What they were having?" "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"  "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, . . . 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'" 

...and you question... 
God -'why me?'...
always look at the bigger picture....
A day without the Lord- Is a day wasted.

STORY OF ELIJAH

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar,
put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar.  And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over
the altar. He had them do this four times "Now, asked the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer
on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,
"My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
 

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"  A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" 
"No," replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. 
Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

MOSES AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." 
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23.
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice,
he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

 Waking Up for Church
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied,
"I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church.
(1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"
  
The Picnic
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi.  You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden!
You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs.! Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
 
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
 
The USHER
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.  "The front row please," she answered. "You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring." "Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said. "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. "No." she said. "Good," he answered.
 
Show and Tell
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.  Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion. The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."  The second student
got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary." The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Presbyterian, and this is a casserole."
 
The Best Way To Pray
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.
"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."
 
The repairman could contain himself no longer. 
"Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."